==>

crepuscularDissembler wrote:

Katia, you still need to get to deliver the letter. You may end up disappointing everyone but you could at least avoid causing trouble for them. Getting that to Kvatch is the least you can do at this point. You can cry and walk at the same time, so get going.

ShadowoftheLotus wrote:

Tomorrow will come, a bright new day. And what may come with it could be bad or good. But regardless of what may come, it too shall pass. Accept that these things will happen, and continue to move on with your life. Pursue your goals, but always hold it in mind that you might not reach them. This does not lessen their pursuit or make it somehow less worthwhile. Value your peace of mind.

The_Codfish wrote:

Be STRONG, Kat. Life is hard, yes, but it’s better than being dead. Just keep doing your best until you can’t any longer. Even if you fail, it’s better do so knowing that you did your absolute best all the way than to know that you succumbed to the worst aspects of your character.

Znex wrote:

Yes; if you really are concerned about your best worse than everyone’s average, then train yourself up. After all, no one became heroes overnight, amirite?

Ganelon wrote:

Now, ditch the wine, get up, and find the road. I think you’ve had enough of an experience already.

Squiggles wrote:

No no no. You don’t want to drink that Katia. Last time we had a mishap you drank and it made things worse. You’re trying to recover from alcoholism, not continue. You said so yourself you have a problem with it. Throw the bottle away. If nothing else you can say you did that.

MagicHats wrote:

.This was a bit of adventure, albeit a really bad one, being sad and mopey will only make things worse, C’mon you just gotta get up and keep going on that quest with the letter, it’ll both at least keep your mind off of the depression and think about the reward you’d get.

You understand that this is the wrong thing to do. People in your position are supposed to be strong and persevere; throw down their bottles and keep on trucking through whatever hurdles wind up in their path. You understand that every fable of redemption says you can make a life-changing choice right here and keep on bounding toward Kvatch. You understand all this, you really do.

But you just don’t think you have that in you. Not everyone can be a hero like in the stories. Every failure you’re supposed to bravely shrug off instead grips your heart in a cold embrace that just makes you want to curl up in a ball and never move again. You want to change, you really do, but you’ve come to accept that it can’t be done. Some things are just a part of people and they never go away no matter how hard that person tries to fix it.

It just happens that everything about you is a problem. And all you can do about it is keep being you.

TheFinalWraith wrote:

Though before you take that drink Katia, would you mind telling us what your birth name is? The one you were called back in your home country? Because… I think it might be for the best if you went back to using it. I mean, you gave yourself the name Katia Managan to symbolize starting anew didn’t you? But… I have the suspicion that you’ve been in this place many times before.

The question strikes a nerve.

You know your real name, yet it feels foreign to you. You try to say it out loud, but you can’t.

You’re Katia Managan. It’s an identity you made up two days ago, but it already feels like… you.

For some reason, you’re just not ready to give the name up. Maybe you’re not too different from who you were before, but that doesn’t mean you’re the same person. Sure, you’ve tried to change in the past, tried to turn your life around, but you’ve never been Katia Managan. Katia Managan has been a screwup for two days, not two decades. Katia Managan still has a chance.

You don’t expect anyone to understand what it means for you to be Katia Managan. It changes everything. When you left home and came to Cyrodiil, it wasn’t just the epilogue to a long, sad story. It was the prequel to something undefined. It was a new story, too young for anyone to predict the ending. Sure, maybe the protagonist isn’t very skilled and has a drinking problem, but she’s only been around for two days. Who knows what will happen.

You don’t know if you think you can change. You don’t really know what you think at all. Maybe that’s why you drink: it makes things simpler.

You’re sorry, but you have to do this. This is a choice you are making as Katia Managan and no one else. You know it’s not a good idea, and that you might very well die. You just don’t care. At least you think you don’t. You don’t even know anymore. You’re a mess.

You don’t know how this is going to end, but that’s still better than knowing there awaits a sad ending.

Bottoms up. See you again soon, you think you hope.

Well, you’re alive.