D_C_N: Welp... here ya go

D_C_N: Any feedback would be great, erm, I'd like to make a career out of my writing, so knowing what I do well, or poorly, is important

AMKitsune: @D_C_N: Ok, so I've had a read of this and wanted to start by saying that the environments were extremely well described. I could really feel the darkness closing in on the characters in the forest and the expansiveness of the plains. This however brings me onto my second point. With the exception of Katia, I had a hard time keeping track of the the names of the other characters, places, possibly factions if there were any. It may well just be me, but I found the introduction of so many new names in such a relatively short space to be a bit overwhelming. Because of this, I went through the story pretty much thinking of the characters in terms of 'group of bandits who kidnapped Katia' and 'bunch of guards giving chase', and even then, I sometimes found myself mixing up different characters. I suspect that the reason I've had this problem is a combination of the facts that most of the characters have similarly 'fantasy sounding' names (like the sorts of names you get in harry potter and lord of the rings) and the lack of time given to introduce them as separate characters.

You also did a good job of not letting any characters become the 'favourite' by making them 'too perfect' in any way (a problem that many fanfictions suffer from). I was really pleased (and pleasantly surprised) to see Katia written not as a 'damsel in distress' or the 'all conquering protagonist' but as an actual person as she appears in the comic itself. It may not sound like much, but I think it does so much to help make the story more believable and immersive (which is surely one of the best things a story can be, right?).

Honestly, this felt like a small slice of a much bigger story. Sure there were a couple of typo's here and there and a few sparse grammatical errors, but for the most part, it was fantastically written. the way it's written made it feel like I was reading an excerpt from a larger novel.

To summarise, an overall fantastic piece of writing that I feel was only let down by the lack of time devoted to introducing the individual characters (in a story this short with this many characters, I can see how that may be difficult to pull off though).
(Also, I notice that the link doesn't work any more. Did you take the story down?)

D_C_N: Thank you so much for the feed back first of all ( not sure whats up with the link, the stories still there, but the trscking stats are reset, so I put a new link) and uh, just thanks. And thinking of bandits and guards is pretty much appropriate. Thats just kinda what they are. Most the characters, or, well, all of them, were underdeveloped, probably because I just made most of them up for this story as I was writting it, with the exception of Sera,but she even was only put in because I thought maybe, it be better if I had one of my female charaters trying to save Katia instead of just the man. So, thanks again, and thanks a lot, that feedback pretty much made my week.

D_C_N: I'm working on a second story, hopefully without the rush to finish by halloween I can avoid the flaws this story had, though, in order to explain and make it less confusing, I will need to focus a bit more on my own stuff, distracting from Katia a bit, which is not ideal, but I'll try to keep her the star as much as possible.