FESTIVAL

The central square around which most of the grand houses in town faced had been transformed since the market of only a few days before. Now, facing the center were two large grandstands, though both were empty when Quill-Weave and Rosie arrived. In the very center stood a large wooden pole that obviously had been buried deep into the ground. Around the perimeter and marked off with lime powder was a path that Rosie assumed was for races or some sort of competition.

"Oh, I'm sure they'll start later," Quill-Weave was explaining as she made her way to the other side of the square. "But the morning's events are outside of town this way, where the judging will be going on."

"Judging?"

"Mostly livestock, though fruits, vegetables and even flowers are also judged. It will have been going on for hours now. These rural types do get up early! The games come afterwards."

They passed down a street towards the far side of the village and began to hear the din. As they topped a low rise, Rosie finally saw where the commotion was coming from. Where a few days ago had stood a flat but otherwise unremarkable field now stood a series of barns, pens and other hastily-made buildings. The number of people surrounding them was incredible.

"Where did all these people come from?!" Rosie asked, awestruck.

"Oh, that's everyone in the surrounding countryside too, not to mention the smaller villages."

Suddenly a low bass note began, emanating from a group of musicians at one side of the field she hadn't noticed before. The note began pulsing and the other musicians began to harmonize. It was a foreboding tune, done in a minor key, but everyone turned around when it started, looking for someone.

"Oh, they've spotted me," Quill-Weave laughed. "It's kind of my theme song."

"You have a theme song?"

"Come on Evil Maid. Our public awaits!"

The two followed the path down to the field as the crowd parted in front of them.

"Well, I am a celebrity in town, you understand," Quill explained. "A lot of people have made a living selling Evil Mistress souvenirs you know. I don't mind, so long as they leave me and the tower alone."

"Oh! Do you think they'll start selling Evil Maid stuff too?"

Quill-Weave turned to her friend. "Rosie, I'm absolutely certain of it! Now come along. We'd best not keep Mrs. April waiting. She'll be expecting us."

As Quill's theme song ended, the deferential treatment began to wane and the locals went back to their business.

As she had expected, Quill spotted Mrs. April in the judging booth beckoning them over. As they arrived, chairs were brought for Quill and her maid while a line of hairy oxen were paraded in front of the judges.

"Oh, you judge the livestock too Mrs. April?"

"Well, it's a mostly ceremonial position you know. What would someone like me know about such beasts? We already know who's going to win. That was decided last night. This is more of a ceremonial ‘judging'. For the people, you know. Have you seen the floral booth? A lot of impressive arrangements there. Just between you and me, I honestly thought Mrs. Kuln's roses might have actually beaten my own. But I'm voting for Mr. Jones' sow, so he will vote for my roses. Still, the competition is getting better I must say."

"That doesn't really sound very fair, does it?"

Mrs. April let loose a chuckle at that. "Fair? Oh you're a precious one! This is the county festival! Now if you're looking for fairness, the games might be more your cup of tea. Though it's always best to bet on last year's winner. But no, here it's really more about who you know. Of course, if there's an obvious standout we can only push it so far. Oh, excuse me. I have to hold up my card now... Let's see. This one was an 8..."

Rosie's tail touched Quill-Weave's. The language of tails was not terribly expressive, but it did suffice to get basic information across.

"It's all a setup?" the khajiit's tail signed.

"I suppose so," Quill sent back.

"That doesn't seem right!"

"What can you do?"

"Miss April?" Rosie asked aloud.

"Yes child?" replied the older lady, a bit haughtily at having to speak to an underling.

"Could my Mistress be a judge? Surely she's a prominent figure in the county by now."

"Oh! Quill-Weave, would you like to be a judge? Your maid does have a point. You certainly would qualify, and you need only a sponsor to be officially recognized. I would be happy to sponsor you!"

Rosie's tail was furiously signing "Do it!"

"Well, I really don't know much about such things. And I wasn't there... um... last night."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll tell you what number to raise. We'd love to have you!"

Quill looked back at Rosie who was nodding happily.

"I... guess so!"

"Well, then that's settled. One moment..." Mrs April said and stood with her hand up.

"One moment everyone," she said in a clear voice. "Judges, Mistress Quill-Weave whom you all know as the Mistress of Evil has deigned to join our ranks. I will be her sponsor. Can we get a quick, unanimous vote to have her added as a Guest Judge today?"

Five of the other judges raised their hands in agreement, but a sixth was hesitant.

"I said UNANIMOUS, Mr. Pim," Mrs. April said with a bit of force and a glare.

The hand shot up.

"Thank you fellow judges! Can someone please provide our guest with score cards please?"

These were soon brought and Quill joined in, though soon found it rather silly since she kept holding up the same number that Mrs. April did.

"So, you see, it really is an important duty," the elderly judge was saying. "Breeding of an award winning mare or stallion, for instance, can easily bring double the price. So we do take this work seriously."

"But... don't you just vote for each other, or for friends or family?"

"Well, of course... to some extent. I mean, where there's really little difference between two entries perhaps some such choices are made. There are times though that we simply must choose against our own factions for a clearly superior specimen. It can cause a bit of fuss, of course, but we must at least maintain appearances."

The winning ox was announced and the judges were free to mingle for a few minutes before the next category began.

"Now look what you've done!" Quill whispered to her maid as she nodded at people who wanted to meet her. "Now I've got to judge all these damn animals! They'll probably be bringing their dogs in!"

"Oh, you can always leave I bet," Rosie said. "But I saw Mr. Feldman is in the next group with one of his pigs. Please, Quill - vote him a 10!"

"Rosie! I don't know anything about pigs."

"Come on. You're the Mistress of Evil. Surely voting him a 10 is evil!?"

"Well, barely."

"You heard her. They vote for their own friends all the time. Besides, it might not even matter anyway."

"It'll piss off Mrs. April," Quill said, realizing already that she was going to do it.

"Yeah. It will," Rosie said with a twinkle in her eye.

"THE JUDGING OF THE SHOAT PIGS WILL NOW COMMENCE!" said a man through a megaphone, and Quill returned to her seat.

It turned out that these were young pigs, and as the farmers herded them around the area in front of the judges, Quill really did think Mr. Feldman's was one of the cutest. Of course, she had no idea what she was really supposed to be looking for in an award-winning piglet. But when the farmers brought each by the table in their arms for a close inspection, Mr. Feldman's Princess snuffled and tried to get free of his arms as she recognized Rosie. She gave it a pet which seemed to calm it down.

Finally the voting time came and Quill-Weave immediately held up her 10 card when Farmer Feldman was called forward.

"Quill!" hissed Mr. April. "He was supposed to get a 7!"

The other judges looked confused.

"She is a 10!" Quill stated emphatically.

Mrs. April shot her an award-winning glare, but also held up her own 10 card, at which all the other judges also held up 10s.

"We don't give 10s," she whispered angrily. "Unless it's unanimous!"

"Oh. Well I didn't know. Besides, I liked the pig," Quill said.

"Perhaps you might want to see other parts of the festival?" Mrs. April suggested. "I'm sure we can get along without you."

Quill-Weave stood up haughtily. "Yes. Yes, we shouldn't spend all morning here. We have other things to attend to. Come, Maid. Our work here is done."

The judges stood in deference to the Mistress of Evil, and the two left as the man with the megaphone announced the departure of their Guest Judge.

"Well, so much for being on Mrs. April's good side," Quill said as they strolled away from the judging booth.

"Yes, but look at Mr. Feldman. I don't think I've ever seen him beaming so much. And that blue ribbon sure looks pretty on Princess, don't you think?"

Quill looked over to where the farmer stood on a podium with his darling Princess in his arms. The pig looked almost as proud as her owner.



"Okay, it was worth it," she admitted.

On the far side of the livestock area a pit was being dug.

"What's this for?" Quill asked of a man with a shovel.

"This? This is for the barbeque tonight. We'll light it in just a little while and let the coals burn down all morning before we add the meat later."

"Ah," Quill said, but she didn't miss the look of disgust on her maid's face.

They strolled through the booths selling various local foods and wares, marvelling at the variety. This was no farmer's market. There were items here from far, far away. At first Quill wondered how such fresh food could possibly manage to stay unspoiled given the distance much of it must have travelled. But then she saw the ice-mage booth doing a booming business selling flavored ices in little cones and realized that the mage was also doing a quite lucrative business of selling ice to the other vendors as well.

They came across a rarity that the locals were flocking around. The booth was a fishmonger - or more accurately a fishwife. While fish weren't completely foreign to the local's diet, theirs were local freshwater fish caught at nearby lakes. This booth, however, held exotic seafood from the oceans far away and even the grown-ups were gawking at the odd things piled on top of ice.

"How do you feel about fish, Rosie?" she asked as they approached.

"Oh, I don't mind fish so much. I eat it sometimes. It's not like eating cows or pigs after all."

"Or chickens?"

"But... chickens are cute."

"So, basically you don't eat things you can play with I gather."

"Well... I don't know. I just don't feel like fish are in the same category."

"I see. Oh my! That's no fish!"

"This, ma'am," said the fishwife as she held up the tentacled thing, "is an octopus!"

"EWWW!" screamed some children, backing away.

"It's quite the delicacy by the ocean. And these..." she said, pointing to a tank holding some sort of insect-looking beasts, "are lobsters!"

"How's it going?" Quill asked, striking up a conversation with the fishwife. "Selling anything to the locals?"

The fishwife did a double-take when she saw Quill-Weave and her maid. "Oh my! That's... quite an outfit! Is it a costume?"

Quill laughed. "Long story. I'm from Anvil actually."

"Ah, so you're no stranger to the more exotic seafood then. Perhaps you'd like to buy something? These locals... they like to gawk, but frankly I've barely sold anything."

"They're pretty provincial around here," Quill-Weave pointed out, adding "And they probably have no idea how to cook it."

Suddenly Rosie tapped her shoulder. Quill turned around to see Rosie jumping excitedly. It was a very interesting view in that outfit.

"Quill..."

She obviously had something important on her mind, so Quill took her aside. "What is it?"

"Quill... an idea just struck me. But it will be expensive."

"What?" Quill said, an eyebrow raising.

"Quill, I'd like to make something for the festival. It will only take a few hours. Quill, can you buy her out?"

"WHAT?"

"Buy it all. All the seafood. I'm going to make a giant paella!"

Quill considered it. It would be quite an expense. The fishwife wasn't going to be bought out cheaply. "What's a paella?"

"Don't worry about it. Rice and seafood. And I'll need Mooky to help. And... they'll need it."

"What do you mean?"

"When the barbeque is ruined."

"Is the barbeque going to be ruined?"

The maid's face turned mischievous. "Yes, it is."

"Ah. Well, what's money for anyway? Let me haggle with the fishwife."

A few minutes later it was settled. Quill-Weave now owned a rather huge amount of seafood.

"Okay, I'll see you later Quill! I've got to get Mooky and get all this back to the tower!" Rosie said excitedly.

"I don't know what you've got in mind, Rosie, but I trust you. Go on. Tell Mookie I said okay. And ask to bring his wife along. She'll be glad to help, especially if it involves cooking, if I know her half as well as I think I do."

Rosie jumped up and kissed Quill-Weave on the cheek before racing off back towards the town.

Another very interesting view, Quill thought. Maid outfits definitely were not designed for high speed running.