Prequel to Adventure

"No, really, thanks for everything. This is just something I have to do for myself, you know?"

"No, no, no... everything you told me was true. Free food, a roof over my head - even if it was more like a cave - all the companionship I could ever want. All true. Too true. You know, yours wasn't the first cult I’d ever joined either. Well, technically I'm still in the Worm Cult. I just couldn't stand the rites. Trust me, it made yours seem pretty tame. Maybe not so numerous, but still… Necromancers are weirder than you can imagine. No really, trust me, at least you guys were pretty much normal! Except Edgar. Did I tell you he licked my toes?"

"It's not that I don't feel like you guys like me. Hell, you like me too much. And too often. Dude, I can barely walk after the Morwhan feast-day, and don't even get me started on how sore my boobs get! But really, even all that isn't why I'm leaving."

"It's just, I need to get out. I know you'll miss me. All of you. You really should think about getting more women in your cult, you know. But as for me, I think I've learned all I can here. But there's got to be more than just... that."

"I didn't say I felt worthless! I'm probably the best trained ritual-sacrifice in the world! And believe me, I do appreciate that you don't make me clean the altars anymore. But I want to be more than the best ritual sacrifice you’ve ever seen. I'm not worthless. I can speak Dragonish! Did I ever tell you that? I learned it when I was with the Dragon cult. Not many people can say that, I'm sure! Not that I have much use for it anymore."

"Oh, yeah, I was with them too for a while. I guess I never really quit them either. I just left when they wanted me to fuck a dragonling. I mean, gods! I know I'm a slut cat, but even I have some standards. Unless I'm drunk. Though they still were better than the Worm Cult. I did have a sort of pet/friend dragonling though. He was kind of nice, though it was hard to keep him off my leg."

"See, though, all this... it's not me, comrade. It's not that I don't believe. I believe all right! After the things I’ve seen I’d be a fool not to believe. But everything you all value me for, well, it doesn't make me feel good about myself. It's hard to explain, but sometimes I feel like if I didn't do the rituals you wouldn't care about me anymore. And while we're talking about that, some of those rituals... Come on, be honest. You guys just made those up, right?"

"That's what I figured. It was sort of fun at first, I admit, but I'm kinda tired of it all now. Besides, what happens when I get older and I'm no longer the nubile young sacrifice I am now? Look, right now my body is young and... flexible, but it won't always be. I need to learn a trade. A real trade. Something that doesn't rely on...this. I want to get out and see the world too. I need adventure. I need to be someone else. Someone who's more than just a sacrifice who can do weird things with pineapples. I need self-respect, comrade."

"I really don't know. I don't really expect much. But I have hopes. I do have dreams that are not nightmares."

"I'm sorry, but no. You've been a great friend. Really. But it would never work between us. We both know that. Especially after... well, everything you’ve seen. But I'm not looking for that. I'm not looking for someone else. I'm looking for me. I need to find out what I can be. I don't even know how to be a khajiit! Do you understand that? Can you understand that? I've tried learning, but it's hard here. Elsweyr? No, I don't think so. I think I'd be more out of place there than anywhere, if you believe that. No, I think Cyrodiil will be a good place to start. I feel like my whole life has been aimless, flitting from one place to another, happy to find people who will take care of me. And you guys have taken care of me. Not that I didn't reciprocate mind you! But I am tired of people having to take care of me. I need to take care of myself."

"Hehhehe. You remember that? Oh gods, that was the worst! I don't know how you stand it without fur! But see, that's exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about. I don't know anything. I've never been out in the real world - not the real world, like everybody else has been. I've been under one protective roof after another, protected against life itself. I'm so fucking naive.”

“I told you, I just misunderstood! I thought I overheard you and your friend talking about how much you would like a shaved cat. Well, that's just it! I'd never heard that euphemism before! And I wanted so much for you guys to like me that I went to a barber and did the stupidest thing I've ever done in retrospect. But I meant well, idiot that I was."

"You think that’s cold, try lying naked on a stone altar without fur someday!"

"...and don't think I don't appreciate it. It was a very nice, soft blanket. Hell I practically lived in it till my fur grew back. It sure did cut down on my ritual sacrifices for a while though. Nobody would so much as look at me. Yes, but you. You were very sweet."

"Well, I guess that's the ship's bell. It's going to be leaving soon. I need to get going. Say goodbye to the gang for me, okay? And tell Morissa I'm sorry, but she's going to have to take over my sacrificial duties. No, it won't be the same, I know. But you guys will do alright without me. Please don't make me get all emotional. I've got to do this."

"What?"

"Oh SHIT! It's been so long since I had to worry about such things, I didn't think! I spent all my money on the voyage, I don't have any left for clothes!!! OH SHIT! I can't go on a fucking ship naked! FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

"Oh, thank the gods! I don't care where it's been, give it to me! It's better than nothing!"

"Ew... it stinks. No, no it's fine. I'll get used to it."

"Oh! Something fell out. What's that? A lock pick? No, I'll take it too. Who knows, I might need it."

"Okay. Well, goodbye comrade! Maybe I'll come back and visit again someday. No! No more rituals for me, thanks. Just to say hi. A hug? You want to give me a hug? Sure!!!"

"Yeah, it does stink. I'll wash it as soon as I can get some water from the Captain. Goodbye comrade! It's been... well, it's been an experience!"

"I'm coming captain! I'm coming!"

Sigh. “I would have liked that hug. Now, where can I put this lockpick? No pockets. Hmm... Oh well, any port in a storm they say.”

“Whoa! That’s cold!"