AMKitsune: This is a tale of high expectations and the soul crushing failure that so often follows... How very 'Prequel'!
I'd have uploaded a higher res version, but file size limits... You know how it is. And I refuse to give up my alpha transparency for jpg compression. PNG master race for life! (or until I find a better format)
AMKitsune: The proportions on this look spot on. Also, the details all feel like they have a uniform level of 'cartoonishness' which really ties the whole thing together. I don't know what the general rule amongst the admins here is regarding pre-stating the intent to feature an image, but if you were to ever take a sort of 'finalised group shot' of all your prequel models together, I'd feature it. These models must take quite a while to make and you've made so many of them. They're all so good to! (I certainly couldn't make them that well XD)
AMKitsune: @Armored-Struggle-Wagon: Or he could just fly over it, switch the start and end points, go to the left and wrap around the screen... He's a witch-hunter, the possibilities are literally endless!
AMKitsune: Despite the few anatomical errors (which I'm aware have been pointed out numerous times on the 4chan thread that this was posted on), I absolutely adore the pose, scene and lighting in this. It all looks so magical (and not in the arcane sense).
AMKitsune: By dreaming, maybe she's actually watching the real of existence where the voices in her head come from? Perhaps when she (occasionally) dreams of being popular and loved by all, she's seeing all of us in some way?
I still hold the headcanon that our reality is (in the context of the comic) a Daedric realm that Katia has some mental connection to. Think about it, seeing as none of us come from Mundas, that technically makes us all Daedra. It would also explain why the ideas that she 'gets' can be quite erratic in nature, given that they would literally be coming from a collection of different beings in another dimension.
A strange thought. Probably wrong, but a thought none the less :D
AMKitsune: A young, half blinded Khajiit sits atop a large, out of place boulder, partitioned from the nearby road by a small, yet ornate stone wall, thoughtfully gazing across the forested hills and plains of the surrounding land and out to the waters beyond as the setting sun casts a soft, soothing light across all it touches. What better time and place to enjoy a snack and ponder the nature of beings existing in realms beyond your very comprehension?
As the trees and hills grow ever more distant, the haze of the evening air envelopes the land with a misty shroud, fading the distant landscape into a pale imitation of what would have once been, while the fading light of the sun paints the sky a vibrant pallet of pinks and lavenders as the waning star slowly sinks beyond the horizon.
AMKitsune: @MetalC0Mmander: In this case, I mean shading in the 'getting different parts of the picture to have different shades of grey' using only a line based tool' sense of the word (probably a pencil here).
AMKitsune: There we go. Looks much better the right way around XD.
I also have to agree with Salamanakis, the shading's amazingly even and accurate for being hand drawn. Top notch stuff :D
AMKitsune: That's really sweet. At least the 'cat warrior fairy' isn't also a princess XD.
I'm a little confused by the tags though. Your caption implies that this is your sisters drawing, yet you've included yourself in the tags? I see that this is you're first upload, so it's understandable that there could be tagging mistakes. If the tags are correct as they are though (if this is your drawing), just say so and I'll fix the artist name tag for you to be an actual 'artist tag'. Otherwise, we might want to remove your name from the tags if you're not the artist.
AMKitsune: @Man_Of_Mer: That might explain his unfortunate lack of recent fanart. This is a relatively old picture that's only just been uploaded here.
AMKitsune: @Kazerad: I also find a good, quick way to determine whether an image containing nudity should be considered 'artistically safe' or 'sexually suggestive' is to look at the characters pose and expression and imagine if they would still work as well if the character were fully clothed. From what I've seen, most of the (in my opinion) better nudes out there don't really have the subject acknowledging the fact that they're naked at all (the scene, pose and expressions would work just as well if they were wearing a full outfit).
I'll give you a couple of examples. If you were to imagine Katia wearing, say, a set of leather armour in this picture, it wouldn't look particularly out of place. Perhaps she heard something behind her while taking a small lean against a pillar? Nothing too out of the ordinary there.
On the other hand, if you imagine the same armour applied to the Pseudonimous 'I'm sorry' picture, you'd be left thinking something along the lines of "Why's she posing like that? What's with the sultry expression?". Without the nudity, it just doesn't make as much sense.
AMKitsune: @Kazerad: Are butts allowed here? I don't know... We'll just have to ask whoever's in charge here XD.
Seriously though, judging whether an image would be suitable for workplace viewing or for younger viewers can be a relatively complicated process. On the one hand, you could simply go by what's visible in the picture and determine that the presence of certain things like 'butts & boobs' are enough to make a picture unsuitable. In that case, the threshold of what is considered acceptable is generally up to the community as a whole and what they're comfortable with (although, as with all sites, the owner (yourself in this case) ultimately has the final call on what they do and don't want on their site).
The other, less clear cut aspect of this discussion is how the 'artists intent' and 'viewer interpretation' factor into things.
It's clear that some people see some picture more sexually than others. This is by no means a bad thing as everyone's entitled to their own views and opinions, it just makes it tricky to try to moderate the content of a site in a way that everyone can be happy with. At pretty much any given 'level' of moderation, there will be some people who think that content is too 'porny' and should be removed while other users may be disappointed because other art that they thought to be perfectly reasonable (usually containing 'artistic nudity' in the case of this site)was taken down.
Who do you try to accommodate for? Do you use your own sensibilities as a cornerstone off which to judge all other images and hope the community agrees with you? Or do you try to put your own personal feelings aside and try to judge an image based off of what you think the 'average viewer' would approve of?
A good example of this issue in effect would be if you were to present Michelangelo's David to a group of school kids. Chances are, they wouldn't be able to appreciate the amazing quality of the sculpture and would instead see it as little more than 'a big naked man'.
Now, the whole 'having artistic merit' argument usually seems to rely on the image (or work) in question having a relatively high level of quality (which is often (wrongly) linked to the artists presumed age and consequentially, their presumed level of maturity). This is probably linked to the 'artists intent' aspect of the discussion.
If an artist makes an image with the intent that it's to be appreciated for it's form and 'accuracy of it's subject matter', is that how everyone should strive to interpret it? Should people have to try to put their own sensibilities aside to see the work how it was intended to be seen? Or should they be expected to stick to what they know and experience the artwork as it is?
This is something of a moral conundrum which I don't know if there's necessarily a right answer to.
If someone creates something that's pretty much intended to be seen as porn (or in some way sexually provocative), can't someone see beyond that and enjoy it as a simply well done piece of art? In this case, some people can, but would it them be right to host that material knowing full well that others would still see it as just porn? Probably not.
By the way, when I say 'porn' in this context, I mean any kind of artwork that could generally be viewed as being sexually provocative, not just the outright explicit stuff.
Going back to the topic of 'butts', I can see how they'd be considered somewhat suggestive as, while not sexually explicit, it's generally considered indecent to show ones butt of in public. But then we're drawn back to our David example. While there are barely any picture of the sculpture from the rear (for some reason...), I'm pretty sure it has a butt. I don't see anyone complaining about it though.
It's almost as though people feel 'allowed' to artistically appreciate what would otherwise be considered questionable when the work was made as a piece of 'beret wearing, deeper meaning, ART' as opposed to something a 10 year old drew and shared with their friends.
I've probably gone and overcomplicated this far more than anyone needed to, but to summarise, there's no clear right or wrong answer as to whether butts should be allowed here or not. As the owner of the site, I think that's going to have to be a call you make yourself (or try to find the general consensus)
AMKitsune: Headcanon: Mehrunes Dagon has a secret soft spot for khajiit (especially the poorer downtrodden ones) and occasionally plucks one from Nirn to keep as a beloved house pet. He even makes beds for them out of his old 'boot boxes' and cut up blankets. Lovely chap, if he's not trying to kill you and subjugate your world...
AMKitsune: Emerald ring of power:
Fortify Willpower 100 pts on self
Fortify Alteration 25 pts on self
Fortify Conjuration 25 pts on self
Fortify Acrobatics 50 pts on self
Bound Spectral Uniform on self
AMKitsune: Wow, much like most of this recent flood of images, I though this would have already been here. Apparently not!
I'm also a little embarrassed at seeing this again as it was edited during my 'make everything like like a pseudo-painting to hide the rendering inconsistencies' phase. Dark times...
AMKitsune: @D_C_N: Yes. I'd imagine so at least. I think part of the reason that everyone finds Katia so relatable is that she essentially acts like any other 'normal' person would in her situation. She's not a brave adventurer willing to wipe out hoards of bandits for a chest of loot at the end of a cave or take on a giant frost troll. She essentially has the mind of a regular person thrust into an irregular situation (a regular person with alcohol problems,fireballs and telekinesis, but regular none the less). If she 'were' to kill someone, either accidentally or reluctantly on purpose, I'm imagine that she'd feel absolutely distraught afterwards. To the point of emotionally breaking down if I had to guess. The only reason I think she faired as she did with the big Imp was because she was forced into the situation beyond her will and it was a 'monster', not a 'person'. Of course you could always go down the 'killing someone' route, but I'd have to wish you the best of luck in writing it in both a believable way and a way in which your readers would feel comfy continuing with.
Saying all this, maybe Kazerad will have her kill someone at some point (on purpose) and not be too effected by it. I wouldn't imagine so though...
AMKitsune: Right, so I've read this chapter and I'm afraid that I wouldn't rate it as highly as the last one.
Please bare with me. I'll try to explain why as best I can.
Once again, they way in which you describe the landscape and the people in it is top notch, but I suspect that this chapter may have perhaps been a little 'too wordy'. Honestly, I've been a little unwell lately which has lead to me being somewhat tired which probably isn't doing my ability to focus any favours, but I found it quite hard to concentrate on this chapter and to fully absorb what was going on. Another reason for this may have been because 'not much of actual importance' seemed to be happening for most of the chapter. I'm not trying to say that it was boring or uneventful, but compared to the last chapter which had our protagonists fleeing through a dark forest trying to outrun death, not much seemed to happen in this chapter. To sum up the most notable events that I picked up on, there was the river crossing, the old man with the sword in the village and then meeting the soldiers. I realise that there was also a section at the end where we met this 'not-royalty' guy, but by this point, I was struggling to keep up with the story to the point where additional characters and events weren't really sticking in my mind.
Something else that I noticed which may have possibly been a contributing factor to my finding it harder to concentrate on this was the fact that much of the speech (and a fair few other sentences) weren't capitalised. Your sentences can often run on for quite a while, and while this can be great for adding to the overall feel of the story, it can sometimes 'lessen the point' that's being made. These longer sentences that often feel like they contain more than one subject combines with lack of capitalisation at the beginning of many of the speech sections (which comprise a great deal of the story), while technically making sense, also make the story harder to read in my opinion.
It's most likely my current lack of focus talking, but I feel that this chapter could have perhaps benefited from being written with slightly shorter, more succinct sentences. Something else to bare in mind with this critique is that I'm Dyslexic which means that while I'm lucky enough to be able to read most things as well as anyone else, I can struggle with the flow of text whenever there are grammatical errors or if it's not laid out particularly clearly. For the most part, your writing is very well laid out, but I just want to make it clear that my 'condition' makes it harder for me to understand what other people may have absolutely no problem with. Still, you may find it better to write these chapters in a program that automatically capitalises the first word of each sentence for you.
Finally, I may have had difficulty with this chapter simply because I didn't find many of the events in it particularly gripping. This is unfortunately just my personal opinion and I would have most likely kept that opinion regardless of how the sequences were written. Personally, I'd consider these sections 'filler material', meant to go between the main sections of interest. Going back to what I said earlier, while I understand that most of this chapter was spent travelling, there were a few times where I felt that the story was going to slow down and focus on that area for a bit. Places like the river crossing and settlement with the old man and child in it. Unfortunately, I feel that these sections were skimmed over too quickly and 'not enough time was spent on them'/'not enough of interest happened' to make them stand out from the 'filler' that was the time spent travelling between locations.
Just to make it perfectly clear, I don't want you to be disheartened by what must essential look like a big 'wall of negativity', but as it currently is, I found the chapter hard to engage with and consequentially, hard to get absorbed into. If I were to read this at another time, I may find it easier to follow along with the flow of the longer sentences and less intense story of this chapter, but right now, I'm afraid that I wasn't able to fully enjoy it. I'm currently on the fence as to whether I should post this or not. It feels knowing how critical this all is. I just hope that I was able to accurately pin point the reasons for why I found it hard to engage with.
Of course, I'm by no means an experienced writer myself, so pretty much all that I'm saying is based purely on my own opinions and observations. My suggestions are ones that I believe would make the story easier for me to read personally. I have no idea whether they would be of any benefit to anyone else. I'd certainly hope so, but I couldn't say for sure.
Once again, I hope that these thoughts may be of some benefit to you. My apologies if I rambled on a bit with some points or repeated myself. Being tired can do that XD
Best of luck with your future writing.
(As I am at the moment, I could spend forever rereading this critique and not be fully satisfied with it. For the sake of just getting it out there though, I'm just going to post it as it currently is.)
AMKitsune: @POMA: Keep referencing away. Unless you've either got a photographic memory or have drawn something so many times that you've developed a routine for it, there's absolutely no shame whatsoever in referencing existing materiel. Actually, you know what? There's no shame in referencing under any circumstances. Any new original work is equally important regardless of how it was made (with the obvious exception of straight up traces, which I maintain can still be useful for helping to learn the very basics, but not much beyond that).
Also, Katia's starting to look a little crazy there. Better give her a hug to calm her down a bit. XD
AMKitsune: @reiler12: I'm sorry, but what? I'll admit that I sometimes have difficulty understanding what you say (I'm guessing English may not be your first language?) but I suspect that you may be taking this picture a little too seriously. I'm pretty sure this isn't meant to seriously belittle any characters. Sure, it's ridiculous and doesn't make any real sense, but I think that's meant to be the point. Different people may 'ship' different characters with each other, that's just how people are (and again, I don't think this is even meant to be a serious picture).
While places like this tend to be full of relatively like-minded people with a shared interests (In this case, sad cats), You have to accept that different people have different likes and opinions.
We have absolutely no desire to censor people for having differing views and thoughts, but sometimes these views can be worded in ways that serve no purpose other than to make others feel bad about their own opinions (like saying something like "your interest in anthropomorphic animals is weird" or words to that effect. Most hobbies and pastimes are 'weird' when you look at the closely enough). These kinds of comments have no place here (or in any other decent community for that matter).
Personally, I'm not too keep on the whole 'male pregnancy' thing, but this picture's breaking none of the Booru's rules as far as I'm aware, so it has every right to be here. It's just a case of 'putting up' with the images that you don't particularly agree with for the sake of letting others enjoy them.
I realise that you may have strong feeling about some of the content on this Booru, but when commenting on something, above all else, try to consider how your comment will make everyone else feel. While we don't necessarily want this place turning into an echo-chamber with everyone agreeing with everything everyone says, it's important to voice your objections and concerns as considerately as you can.
We've already got a sad cat. There's no need for any sad fans.
AMKitsune: In the world of Tamriel where pretty much every other drink is alcoholic in some way, I wonder if alcoholism is a known problem and whether there's any kind of support for it? Or is Katia unique in having practically no tolerance for the stuff?
Either way, being as pissed as she is here, surely she'd just try to seduce the shop keeper instead of have any kind of rationally emotional response to the situation?
AMKitsune: I like to imagine that a complete stranger has just told her that they love her and want to always be with her, snuggle up with her, protect her, give her a place to live, feed her... You know, all the usual well meaning but ultimately creepy stuff that fans come up with.
Seriously, coming from someone you know would be somewhat ok, but from her perspective, all her fans would simply be random weirdo's. (and let's face it, we're all random weido's in one way or another XD)
AMKitsune: Beautiful work. I can't help but wonder why Rajirra always looks either sad, confused or more often, slightly pissed off. I know it's part of here character, but it's a shame we so rarely get to see her genuinely happy. Perhaps we'll see some character development with her in the comic that may lead to that some day? Who knows?
AMKitsune: I support this. I support it so much!
The idea that Lil' Katia has absolutely no idea how normal social interaction works, no sense of self perception and lets her excitement get the better of her. Simply precious.
(kind of reminds my of myself when I was little, except this is actually adorable XD)
AMKitsune: "Here we see a khajiit on the hunt for hugs.
It uses a visual display of affection to encourage unsuspecting onlookers into reciprocating these emotions in the form of a big loving hug.
It's believed that some Khajiit actually draw sustenance from these hugs.
Some Khajiit have been known to survive for weeks at a time without a supply of conventional food, surviving on mere crackers and hugs. How this is achieved is currently unknown, but most leading researchers in this field agree that it's bloody adorable :3"
AMKitsune: I hope you cleaned that sack out thoroughly first. Remember what happened the last time you got moon sugar residue mixed in with your Halloween goodies? Not pretty. Not pretty at all.
It took a good week for the swelling to subside...
AMKitsune: And yet, mere hours later, we get a massive flash update with a boat and everything! (although maybe not an 'update' in the conventional sense)
AMKitsune: @D_C_N: Ok, so I've had a read of this and wanted to start by saying that the environments were extremely well described. I could really feel the darkness closing in on the characters in the forest and the expansiveness of the plains. This however brings me onto my second point. With the exception of Katia, I had a hard time keeping track of the the names of the other characters, places, possibly factions if there were any. It may well just be me, but I found the introduction of so many new names in such a relatively short space to be a bit overwhelming. Because of this, I went through the story pretty much thinking of the characters in terms of 'group of bandits who kidnapped Katia' and 'bunch of guards giving chase', and even then, I sometimes found myself mixing up different characters. I suspect that the reason I've had this problem is a combination of the facts that most of the characters have similarly 'fantasy sounding' names (like the sorts of names you get in harry potter and lord of the rings) and the lack of time given to introduce them as separate characters.
You also did a good job of not letting any characters become the 'favourite' by making them 'too perfect' in any way (a problem that many fanfictions suffer from). I was really pleased (and pleasantly surprised) to see Katia written not as a 'damsel in distress' or the 'all conquering protagonist' but as an actual person as she appears in the comic itself. It may not sound like much, but I think it does so much to help make the story more believable and immersive (which is surely one of the best things a story can be, right?).
Honestly, this felt like a small slice of a much bigger story. Sure there were a couple of typo's here and there and a few sparse grammatical errors, but for the most part, it was fantastically written. the way it's written made it feel like I was reading an excerpt from a larger novel.
To summarise, an overall fantastic piece of writing that I feel was only let down by the lack of time devoted to introducing the individual characters (in a story this short with this many characters, I can see how that may be difficult to pull off though).
(Also, I notice that the link doesn't work any more. Did you take the story down?)
Dramatic Descriptions
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I'd have uploaded a higher res version, but file size limits... You know how it is. And I refuse to give up my alpha transparency for jpg compression. PNG master race for life! (or until I find a better format)
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I still hold the headcanon that our reality is (in the context of the comic) a Daedric realm that Katia has some mental connection to. Think about it, seeing as none of us come from Mundas, that technically makes us all Daedra. It would also explain why the ideas that she 'gets' can be quite erratic in nature, given that they would literally be coming from a collection of different beings in another dimension.
A strange thought. Probably wrong, but a thought none the less :D
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As the trees and hills grow ever more distant, the haze of the evening air envelopes the land with a misty shroud, fading the distant landscape into a pale imitation of what would have once been, while the fading light of the sun paints the sky a vibrant pallet of pinks and lavenders as the waning star slowly sinks beyond the horizon.
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I also have to agree with Salamanakis, the shading's amazingly even and accurate for being hand drawn. Top notch stuff :D
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I'm a little confused by the tags though. Your caption implies that this is your sisters drawing, yet you've included yourself in the tags? I see that this is you're first upload, so it's understandable that there could be tagging mistakes. If the tags are correct as they are though (if this is your drawing), just say so and I'll fix the artist name tag for you to be an actual 'artist tag'. Otherwise, we might want to remove your name from the tags if you're not the artist.
And again, this is really adorable :3
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It's the visor, isn't it? Gives her a sort of 'I'm so done with this' look.
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I'll give you a couple of examples. If you were to imagine Katia wearing, say, a set of leather armour in this picture, it wouldn't look particularly out of place. Perhaps she heard something behind her while taking a small lean against a pillar? Nothing too out of the ordinary there.
On the other hand, if you imagine the same armour applied to the Pseudonimous 'I'm sorry' picture, you'd be left thinking something along the lines of "Why's she posing like that? What's with the sultry expression?". Without the nudity, it just doesn't make as much sense.
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Seriously though, judging whether an image would be suitable for workplace viewing or for younger viewers can be a relatively complicated process. On the one hand, you could simply go by what's visible in the picture and determine that the presence of certain things like 'butts & boobs' are enough to make a picture unsuitable. In that case, the threshold of what is considered acceptable is generally up to the community as a whole and what they're comfortable with (although, as with all sites, the owner (yourself in this case) ultimately has the final call on what they do and don't want on their site).
The other, less clear cut aspect of this discussion is how the 'artists intent' and 'viewer interpretation' factor into things.
It's clear that some people see some picture more sexually than others. This is by no means a bad thing as everyone's entitled to their own views and opinions, it just makes it tricky to try to moderate the content of a site in a way that everyone can be happy with. At pretty much any given 'level' of moderation, there will be some people who think that content is too 'porny' and should be removed while other users may be disappointed because other art that they thought to be perfectly reasonable (usually containing 'artistic nudity' in the case of this site)was taken down.
Who do you try to accommodate for? Do you use your own sensibilities as a cornerstone off which to judge all other images and hope the community agrees with you? Or do you try to put your own personal feelings aside and try to judge an image based off of what you think the 'average viewer' would approve of?
A good example of this issue in effect would be if you were to present Michelangelo's David to a group of school kids. Chances are, they wouldn't be able to appreciate the amazing quality of the sculpture and would instead see it as little more than 'a big naked man'.
Now, the whole 'having artistic merit' argument usually seems to rely on the image (or work) in question having a relatively high level of quality (which is often (wrongly) linked to the artists presumed age and consequentially, their presumed level of maturity). This is probably linked to the 'artists intent' aspect of the discussion.
If an artist makes an image with the intent that it's to be appreciated for it's form and 'accuracy of it's subject matter', is that how everyone should strive to interpret it? Should people have to try to put their own sensibilities aside to see the work how it was intended to be seen? Or should they be expected to stick to what they know and experience the artwork as it is?
This is something of a moral conundrum which I don't know if there's necessarily a right answer to.
If someone creates something that's pretty much intended to be seen as porn (or in some way sexually provocative), can't someone see beyond that and enjoy it as a simply well done piece of art? In this case, some people can, but would it them be right to host that material knowing full well that others would still see it as just porn? Probably not.
By the way, when I say 'porn' in this context, I mean any kind of artwork that could generally be viewed as being sexually provocative, not just the outright explicit stuff.
Going back to the topic of 'butts', I can see how they'd be considered somewhat suggestive as, while not sexually explicit, it's generally considered indecent to show ones butt of in public. But then we're drawn back to our David example. While there are barely any picture of the sculpture from the rear (for some reason...), I'm pretty sure it has a butt. I don't see anyone complaining about it though.
It's almost as though people feel 'allowed' to artistically appreciate what would otherwise be considered questionable when the work was made as a piece of 'beret wearing, deeper meaning, ART' as opposed to something a 10 year old drew and shared with their friends.
I've probably gone and overcomplicated this far more than anyone needed to, but to summarise, there's no clear right or wrong answer as to whether butts should be allowed here or not. As the owner of the site, I think that's going to have to be a call you make yourself (or try to find the general consensus)
Those are my thoughts, opinions and observations.
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Fortify Willpower 100 pts on self
Fortify Alteration 25 pts on self
Fortify Conjuration 25 pts on self
Fortify Acrobatics 50 pts on self
Bound Spectral Uniform on self
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I'm also a little embarrassed at seeing this again as it was edited during my 'make everything like like a pseudo-painting to hide the rendering inconsistencies' phase. Dark times...
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Saying all this, maybe Kazerad will have her kill someone at some point (on purpose) and not be too effected by it. I wouldn't imagine so though...
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Please bare with me. I'll try to explain why as best I can.
Once again, they way in which you describe the landscape and the people in it is top notch, but I suspect that this chapter may have perhaps been a little 'too wordy'. Honestly, I've been a little unwell lately which has lead to me being somewhat tired which probably isn't doing my ability to focus any favours, but I found it quite hard to concentrate on this chapter and to fully absorb what was going on. Another reason for this may have been because 'not much of actual importance' seemed to be happening for most of the chapter. I'm not trying to say that it was boring or uneventful, but compared to the last chapter which had our protagonists fleeing through a dark forest trying to outrun death, not much seemed to happen in this chapter. To sum up the most notable events that I picked up on, there was the river crossing, the old man with the sword in the village and then meeting the soldiers. I realise that there was also a section at the end where we met this 'not-royalty' guy, but by this point, I was struggling to keep up with the story to the point where additional characters and events weren't really sticking in my mind.
Something else that I noticed which may have possibly been a contributing factor to my finding it harder to concentrate on this was the fact that much of the speech (and a fair few other sentences) weren't capitalised. Your sentences can often run on for quite a while, and while this can be great for adding to the overall feel of the story, it can sometimes 'lessen the point' that's being made. These longer sentences that often feel like they contain more than one subject combines with lack of capitalisation at the beginning of many of the speech sections (which comprise a great deal of the story), while technically making sense, also make the story harder to read in my opinion.
It's most likely my current lack of focus talking, but I feel that this chapter could have perhaps benefited from being written with slightly shorter, more succinct sentences. Something else to bare in mind with this critique is that I'm Dyslexic which means that while I'm lucky enough to be able to read most things as well as anyone else, I can struggle with the flow of text whenever there are grammatical errors or if it's not laid out particularly clearly. For the most part, your writing is very well laid out, but I just want to make it clear that my 'condition' makes it harder for me to understand what other people may have absolutely no problem with. Still, you may find it better to write these chapters in a program that automatically capitalises the first word of each sentence for you.
Finally, I may have had difficulty with this chapter simply because I didn't find many of the events in it particularly gripping. This is unfortunately just my personal opinion and I would have most likely kept that opinion regardless of how the sequences were written. Personally, I'd consider these sections 'filler material', meant to go between the main sections of interest. Going back to what I said earlier, while I understand that most of this chapter was spent travelling, there were a few times where I felt that the story was going to slow down and focus on that area for a bit. Places like the river crossing and settlement with the old man and child in it. Unfortunately, I feel that these sections were skimmed over too quickly and 'not enough time was spent on them'/'not enough of interest happened' to make them stand out from the 'filler' that was the time spent travelling between locations.
Just to make it perfectly clear, I don't want you to be disheartened by what must essential look like a big 'wall of negativity', but as it currently is, I found the chapter hard to engage with and consequentially, hard to get absorbed into. If I were to read this at another time, I may find it easier to follow along with the flow of the longer sentences and less intense story of this chapter, but right now, I'm afraid that I wasn't able to fully enjoy it. I'm currently on the fence as to whether I should post this or not. It feels knowing how critical this all is. I just hope that I was able to accurately pin point the reasons for why I found it hard to engage with.
Of course, I'm by no means an experienced writer myself, so pretty much all that I'm saying is based purely on my own opinions and observations. My suggestions are ones that I believe would make the story easier for me to read personally. I have no idea whether they would be of any benefit to anyone else. I'd certainly hope so, but I couldn't say for sure.
Once again, I hope that these thoughts may be of some benefit to you. My apologies if I rambled on a bit with some points or repeated myself. Being tired can do that XD
Best of luck with your future writing.
(As I am at the moment, I could spend forever rereading this critique and not be fully satisfied with it. For the sake of just getting it out there though, I'm just going to post it as it currently is.)
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Also, Katia's starting to look a little crazy there. Better give her a hug to calm her down a bit. XD
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While places like this tend to be full of relatively like-minded people with a shared interests (In this case, sad cats), You have to accept that different people have different likes and opinions.
We have absolutely no desire to censor people for having differing views and thoughts, but sometimes these views can be worded in ways that serve no purpose other than to make others feel bad about their own opinions (like saying something like "your interest in anthropomorphic animals is weird" or words to that effect. Most hobbies and pastimes are 'weird' when you look at the closely enough). These kinds of comments have no place here (or in any other decent community for that matter).
Personally, I'm not too keep on the whole 'male pregnancy' thing, but this picture's breaking none of the Booru's rules as far as I'm aware, so it has every right to be here. It's just a case of 'putting up' with the images that you don't particularly agree with for the sake of letting others enjoy them.
I realise that you may have strong feeling about some of the content on this Booru, but when commenting on something, above all else, try to consider how your comment will make everyone else feel. While we don't necessarily want this place turning into an echo-chamber with everyone agreeing with everything everyone says, it's important to voice your objections and concerns as considerately as you can.
We've already got a sad cat. There's no need for any sad fans.
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Either way, being as pissed as she is here, surely she'd just try to seduce the shop keeper instead of have any kind of rationally emotional response to the situation?
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Seriously, coming from someone you know would be somewhat ok, but from her perspective, all her fans would simply be random weirdo's. (and let's face it, we're all random weido's in one way or another XD)
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The idea that Lil' Katia has absolutely no idea how normal social interaction works, no sense of self perception and lets her excitement get the better of her. Simply precious.
(kind of reminds my of myself when I was little, except this is actually adorable XD)
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It uses a visual display of affection to encourage unsuspecting onlookers into reciprocating these emotions in the form of a big loving hug.
It's believed that some Khajiit actually draw sustenance from these hugs.
Some Khajiit have been known to survive for weeks at a time without a supply of conventional food, surviving on mere crackers and hugs. How this is achieved is currently unknown, but most leading researchers in this field agree that it's bloody adorable :3"
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Also, those expressions! So sweet!
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It took a good week for the swelling to subside...
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Cider, you've done it again.
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You also did a good job of not letting any characters become the 'favourite' by making them 'too perfect' in any way (a problem that many fanfictions suffer from). I was really pleased (and pleasantly surprised) to see Katia written not as a 'damsel in distress' or the 'all conquering protagonist' but as an actual person as she appears in the comic itself. It may not sound like much, but I think it does so much to help make the story more believable and immersive (which is surely one of the best things a story can be, right?).
Honestly, this felt like a small slice of a much bigger story. Sure there were a couple of typo's here and there and a few sparse grammatical errors, but for the most part, it was fantastically written. the way it's written made it feel like I was reading an excerpt from a larger novel.
To summarise, an overall fantastic piece of writing that I feel was only let down by the lack of time devoted to introducing the individual characters (in a story this short with this many characters, I can see how that may be difficult to pull off though).
(Also, I notice that the link doesn't work any more. Did you take the story down?)